Category Archives: Thoughts On…

Thoughts On… January

It’s been a roller coaster of a week; fright, anxiety, excitement, wonder, and even a little compassion have all been wrapped up around each other like a ball of yarn and it’s only Wednesday. For the past week, I’ve been going through the post holiday anxiety, you know, facing a long winter with next to no breaks in sight until summer. It happens every year, you can’t help but to slip into worrying about the future, how you’re living your life, and all the things you wish to change about yourself. This year I also have to decide which college I would like to attend, and make choices that will affect the rest of my life. Its inevitable that throughout this process you start to feel isolated in your own head, and mental isolation leads to a feeling of physical isolation too. I have found myself in a much more mellow mood doing a lot of thinking on my own, questioning theories I have come up with over the past year, and reconsidering what is important. By this evening I had done several full cycles through all of my emotions and upon arriving at work, I was leaning towards hopeless. Light has a funny way of creeping up when it is most missed though and my two favorite colleagues were on shift tonight, and I ended the night feeling more genuinely close to these two girls than I have with anyone in a long time. We shared dinner after the Texas Roadhouse closed and we talked for nearly an hour and half about all of our lives, the ambitions and the failings. These two people are probably considered to be just out of my “age range” for friends, but at the end of the night I was feeling more confident and hopeful about my future than I have in a long time. It just goes to show that even the most unlikely people can become the closest of friends, even the most worthless of days can hold an indefinite measure of meaning. There is a lot of uncertainty on the road ahead for you all and for me, but one thing is for certain and that is that no matter where you are there in life there will always be a friend looking to reach out, you just have to know where to look. This January, I look forward to seeing my friends Jess and Amelia at work and hopefully in other aspects of my life too.



Thoughts On… Reality

Think of where you are at a particular moment, and how you feel. From laying under the starry skies, driving down the highway at night with the wind blowing in your face, listening to the sounds of humanity along the boardwalk; such things all bear a particular emotion that becomes one and the same with the place where you experienced it. Thus memories become synonymous with an emotion, and an emotion synonymous with a memory. Such a phenomenon helps to define our perception of our worlds at a point in time. Standing in the middle of the street the other night I watched as a couple shared a romantic moment in the moonlight. As the stars and the lights shone brightly above, this single frame of time became their snapshot of reality. To this couple, this particular point in time bore only love, created by their perception of the world. As a bystander I saw a much more broad and unbiased view of the true reality.

Scan out from the couple standing in the shadow of the apartment, and my friend could be seen urinating in the bushes, while in the house next to me another friend was in an argument with his father. The juxtaposition that this situation presented was so clear and made me think of how every experience in the world is perceived literally one second at a time. Emotions truly are a product of our situation and environment. If our reality is based on our perception of an experience and our experiences are derived from how we process our emotions, then reality is truly only existent in the exact present moment that it is experienced. If we are not around to experience a situation, than the reality is not real and hence non existent to us. Only what we experience is real. Chris McCandless once put this in another perspective by saying “happiness is only real when shared”. This raises a strange question, a theory really. If there is no one with which to share an experience, does the reality of it truly exist? It is a question that is hard to answer, but if we are truly only existent in the here and now, then to anyone else who is in a different point of space at that point of time will realize that that specific reality does not exist and hence reality is only real when shared.